Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
