Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
