4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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