So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
