i permit you to call me
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
