literally had 100 drinks last night.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
