Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize