drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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