I wannas sexs uuuuu
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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