did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
