C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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