i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
