I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
