I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
