what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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