You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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