You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The beer is more important than you right now.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
