You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
