everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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