I seem to have left my pride at pride
Say something about gay babies.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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