Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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