I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
