After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
