Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
