Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize