actually, I'm a sock model
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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