I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
