She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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