Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
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Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
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She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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