I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
