thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers