Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?