if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon