I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
