I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Pooping to opera.
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