I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
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I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
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All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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