This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
