your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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