You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
