Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
