I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
