Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
