so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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