see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
