At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
