Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
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Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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