How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
