I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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