You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
wow bdsm is so cute
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
