not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
