Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
even my farts smell like vagina
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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