he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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