if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
