Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize