You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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