he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
