His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
