Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
